In modern days, with the increasing globalization, most of us, notwithstanding our age, have problems with stress. Sometimes, this stress and frustration leads us to near death scenarios. Visiting a counselor helps in these cases. A counselor is someone, who would talk to us, and give us the faith of trusting in ourselves. Experts say, that counselors should possess four basic skills,

  • Genuineness
  • Empathy
  • Warmth
  • Unconditional Positive Regard

Genuineness-: By genuineness, what we mean is, sincerity. When you are mentally disturbed, you need someone to come and tell you that everything is okay, and this soothes your mind, and you come out of stress. This is conveyed basically, by means of eye contact and body expression, and this where the counselor comes in. If you are a counselor, you need to be completely engrossed in what your client is saying and not look here and there, while he/she is talking, since that would inhibit a feeling into him, that he is unimportant, which is the last thing you want your client to believe. Again, humor is not always needed when you are seeing your client. Since, that would again make him feel, that you are not taking him seriously.

Now, another very important lesson that you need to adapt if you are a counselor, is that, you need to put off your hat of a counselor, when you talking to the client. You need to be a normal human being, maybe a friend to him/her, and look as if you understand his/her problem, and you are completely in alignment with him. When you put off a mask, of a counselor, sometimes, your client may not speak up. Not speaking up, in front of a counselor, is considered as the weakness of the counselor, it generally means that the counselor, cannot reassure him/her to speak in front of him/her.

Empathy-: Empathy generally for a counselor should mean connecting to his/her client. Connecting to the feelings of the client is really very important for a counselor. You as a counselor, should understand the emotion of the client, and the situation that he/she is going through. So, for instance, if your client is sad, for something, or if he/she is happy about something he/she has achieved, you should equally be happy or sad, or at least speak to him/her as if you are sharing his/her feelings. So, for example, if a mother comes to you, because she is sad over her husband’s death, and she cannot tackle with her grief, you should be empathetic, and speak to her, like you are also very sad over her loss. Condolences doesn’t really work when you are a counselor. Since, there are relatives who has already given her condolences, and now, she needs to share.

Warmth-: If you are a counselor, then the next thing you should adapt is, providing your clients with a warm behavior. Warmth always does not mean a physical touch, but it also means that, you should reassure your client, that whatever bad has happened to him/her, or whatever bad is happening to him/her will soon pass, and he/she will have a good time hereafter.


McDowall counselling and consulting group, is one of the best counseling services in Toronto. They have the best psychologists, who can help you. Call them to book an appointment.